Over at Blunt Instrument the comments are well worth a read.

Go there now!

Comedy gold.

It’s after mid-day so I’m probably a little late here, but Wired have pulled together their top ten April Fools’ Day pranks for Nerds:

5. Change the Language Settings on Google When a co-worker leaves her computer unattended for a minute, quickly go to Google’s home page and click on “Preferences.” There, you can choose the interface language of the search engine. Klingon, Hacker and Yiddish are all excellent choices, but Elmer Fudd is our personal favorite. As Elmer, you can use the Google Diwectowy, perform a Google Seawch or find out if you’re ‘feewing wucky.’

You’ll be amazed how few people realize you can do this. The change-the-language trick also works well on cellphones.

6. The BlueScreen of Death ScreensaverThe BlueScreen of Death error in Windows has driven lots of users to the fringe of computer homicide. Tap into the river of pain by installing the BlueScreen of Death Screensaver on a friend’s machine. It’s available at Microsoft’s IT website Technet, but there are several others out there. Just make sure it doesn’t have a real virus.

What’s likely to happen? The victim will reboot his machine by hitting the restart button. Hopefully, they didn’t save their work!

7. Splitting Monitor CablesThis is one even software geeks won’t easily figure out. Open up their monitor cable (don’t worry, it’s safe) and wire the RGB lines to different colors — this will totally warp the image on the screen. Everyone will assume it’s a software problem. You’re so clever. You can thank us later.

More here.

(Via Birmo)

Well it’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival time again, and once again I’m off to see Nik Coppin.

I first saw him in Edinburgh a couple of years ago and really liked him so when he came out to Melbourne last year I made sure I caught him again.

Highly recommended. You can see all his dates etc at the Comedy Festival website: http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/

This tickled me:

More here

Take The Count, add a ‘beep’ every so often, and out comes comedy gold:

Really, how could you go wrong with a gem like this.

Quotes include:

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest “cover” of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

Or this gem:Gravity:

Doesn’t exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that’s just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it’s not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn’t the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

Is Pluto a planet? Obviously this person needs to think through their argument again.

Then there’s this genius

There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don’t know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

Rich with enlightenment thinking.

And while we’re on the topic:

[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

Flawless, how can you argue with that one Darwin!

Then, as if original texts mean anything:

If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James — your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right.

As it’s the Midsummer festival at the moment:

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he’d been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of “I knew you wouldnt understand! You’re just like everyone else!” before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I’ve dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he’s the one who’s feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its ‘ok’ to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son?

Ok, that one is really quite fucked up, possibly beyond being funny.

And finally, not sure what the implications for climate change are here:

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn’t possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]

(Via Defamer)

Emma Clarke is the voice behind the “mind the gap” announcements on the London Underground.

It would appear she also has a sense of humour.

Check out her Spoof London Underground Announcements

(Via Copyfight)

Because the last post was so boring, here’s an example of what can happen to you if you gain cult status on the internet: