There are lots of contenders for Jerk of the Week this week. Let’s take a quick look around.

Rudd, for saying that he opposed civil unions because marriage was between a man and a woman.

Swine Flu also seems to be an obvious contender.

I’m tempted to make it ticket inspectors again as I’m still pissed off.

Then there is John Holland who is sacking workers for not taking a shit pay deal then shipping in Scab Labour.

Not to mention the driver that has walked free after killing a motorcyclist while tuning the radio.

But the winner is Viacom (this one’s for you RXS) for not letting you watch the Daily Show from outside the US. Why? It’s extraordinarily dumb and symptomatic of how stupid big Hollywood’s approach to Intellectual Property is. If you want people to stop ‘stealing’ your programs, then stop making it so difficult to legally obtain them!

Viacom, you are: Jerk of the Week!

So, I get on the tram this morning at 7:30 am. I don’t have any change and the local post office, my nearest ticket outlet, doesn’t open until 8. I don’t have enough change, because you need nearly $6 for a daily and I rarely have that much change on me. I used to carry 10 x 2hr tickets with me but as I ride my bike these days I’ve stopped doing that as I won’t use the ticket up for 6 months by which point it has fallen apart.

Anxious about getting a fine, I keep an eye on who is getting on the tram. But sure enough, as I get into the city the person sitting next to me turns out to be an undercover ticket inspector. Son of a bitch.

Here are some reasons why this is shit:

1. 1. 9 times out of 10 I buy a ticket
2. 2. It was physically impossible for me to buy a ticket as I had no change and the place I can buy a ticket from was closed.
3. 3. When I told the ticket inspector this she told me I should have had the foresight to ensure I had enough change on me.
4. 4. Isn’t is supposed to be convenient so people use it? ie you shouldn’t need that level of foresight to get on the tram.
5. 5. a Ticket is nearly $6 it is unrealistic to be expected to have this much change on you
6. 6. the ticket is WAY too expensive
7. 7. the fines are disproportionate. Fines for speeding are about the same amount but I’m not putting anyone’s life in danger by not buying a fucking tram ticket.
8. 8. fuck you

I asked the ticket inspector why she would do a job like this and how she slept at night. Apparently she sleeps quite well, but she does ride for free as a ticket inspector so there you go. Although apparently, in her last job, she always ensured she bough a ticket. What an angel, no wonder she sleeps so well.

Anyway. Tram ticket inspectors of Melbourne, you are: Jerk of the Week.

Suck shit Mel, you right wing, homophobic anti-Semitic ‘almost Australian’.

I hope your ex-wife takes half, including the rights to Mad Max, Blade Runner and all the Lethal Weapon movies.

Don’t you hate it when the actors in the movies you love turn out to be dickheads.

Mel Gibson, you are: Jerk of the Week primarily because you were once likable.

By and large, I think it’s a good thing that there are high court challenges to the actions of the Government. Yet another form of accountability. If they are contravening the constitution then they should be challenged on it and I applaud the initiative of one academic to do so. There’s not enough activism in academia these days.

But seriously, Bryan Pape, even if I do think that the ‘stimulus package’ is based on the backwards logic that go us here in the first place, don’t stand between me and $950 (or is it $900 these days). I’m a little hard up at the moment. I promise to use the money to pay off debt rather than save it.

Thank you Kevin for giving me money.

Bryan Pape, you are Jerk of the Week*

*NB This is the most tongue in cheek Jerk of the Week I’ve done.