It’s been quite a while between chuck Norris facts - and probably for the best - but I can’t seem to help myself:

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.

Chuck Norris doesn’t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

Chuck Norris doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now.”

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.

Chuck Norris once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression “shitting bricks” wasn’t just a figure of speech.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.