I’ve spent my whole life wanting to be older than I am. Guess I just always wanted to be taken more seriously than I was. No regrets - it’s served me well.

But, at the ripe old age of 26 , you start to realise a few things in the world that seem to indicate to you that you’re getting a little old. For example, I’m not so good with heights anymore.

However a better indicator of my increasing lack of connection with the youth of today is this Emo business. It completely passed me by. One minute I’m screaming at the telly ‘Fuck off Good Charlot - you talentless bunch of anti-punk wankers’ (you see I used to have a mohawk - I was so punk, REAL punk).

Next thing I know, they’re not trying to be punk, they’re fucken Emo. What the fuck is Emo?

Anyway, after further investigation I find out that Emo is as I expected, the perfect object of ridicule. A personal fav has been this one: ‘I wish my lawn was Emo so it would cut itself.’ Further video evidence here (needs to be glassed, need I say more).